


kiss you, then forget you

by pouthyucks



Series: golden gaytimes ; [3]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Australia, Angst, Inspired by Real Events, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Unrequited Crush, everyone except chris is only mentioned whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 23:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16881015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pouthyucks/pseuds/pouthyucks
Summary: chris keeps getting his heart broken, and he keeps crushing on new boys that will just do the same.; title from crush culture by conan gray





	kiss you, then forget you

**Author's Note:**

> this is probably really bad and i wrote it impulsively, sorry. just bear with me.

chris tried to tell himself that it was okay, that he’d accepted it. he was blatantly lying, to minho, to his mother, to his friends, and, most of all, to himself. but those lies would have to get him through the next week or so, or however long they can hold themselves up for. 

 

chris had gotten his heart broken, again, and somehow he wasn’t used to it yet. 

 

this time was worse though, he figures, he’d seen a future with minho this time. he’d seen himself flying out to america from australia, spending all the money he had on a plane ticket and a hotel room. he’d seen them moving in together one day, being chris’s pets' dads and referring to themselves as such. he’d seen himself writing songs about minho at 1 in the morning, only going to sleep when minho told him to (which they were already doing over text, just with an ocean between them). he’d seen himself being truly happy, the whole being alive thing finally being worth it. minho made chris feel like breathing and getting out of bed and all that was worth it. chris felt alive for the first time in over a year. 

 

chris never told minho about felix, what happened in his car on the way to the eat street markets, how it changed chris forever. he supposes that he didn’t want to make minho feel bad for him, he would never want minho to be upset, even now.

 

chris isn’t angry, not in the slightest, minho isn’t ready for a relationship, not with anyone. minho could be dating the most handsome, sweet, caring, overall incredible man in the world, and he would still be stressed and uncomfortable. chris understands that, chris is okay with that. and they’re still friends, chris hasn’t really lost minho. what he  _ has  _ lost is the light in his eyes, the joy of living, the feeling that he’d gone through all that shit with felix and bambam and woojin and everyone else was worth it because he had found minho. 

 

**chris**

you’re an amazing person, minho, i’m glad i met you.

_ read 1:27am _

 

the worst part is that chris can’t even talk to anyone about it, not really. his mum has no idea that he’d dated anyone other than bambam (and the only reason she ever found out about that was because he couldn’t stop himself from crying on the car ride home from school the afternoon that bambam had dumped him). his friends are pretty great, hyunjin actually gave him some pretty good advice, to build an even stronger friendship with minho, and that chris shouldn’t try and erase the memories of the two of them together like he usually did. but his friends never really understood, most of them had never been in relationships before and all of them made jokes and tried to lighten the mood, which chris would appreciate if he wasn’t hurting almost more than he did after the felix thing. and he reached out to this girl on twitter that he occasionally interacts with, jimin, and she let him vent to her about what had happened. she told him to take some time to become himself again, to feel what he needed to feel but not to wallow in it, to do the things that make him happy, even if they’re just sleeping or listening to music that he likes. and chris always appreciates talking to jimin, she’s easy to talk to and she gives him support that none of his friends do. but she can only do so much, she can’t help him get over this boy and she can’t tell him what he should be feeling.

 

depression is a bitch that way.

 

so chris thought he had given up hope of ever having a boyfriend again, that men aren’t shit and that he’s just going to be alone forever, and that’s okay.

 

but then changbin showed up and everything went to shit again.

 

changbin is great, the perfect boyfriend, even. he’s kind, his sense of humour is right up chris’s alley, he’s adorable, and he never fails to make chris laugh, at least a little. but changbin is hard to talk to, at least for chris. it’s always hard to talk to someone when you’re desperately trying to get them to not only not hate you, but also like you back. and chris knows changbin doesn’t like him back, chris can be too needy sometimes (read as: all the time), and is more soft than funny at the moment, it’s hard to make his usual jokes when he feels so alone. changbin doesn’t seem to like that part of chris that much, and chris understands. he always does, even if it hurts him. 

 

he understands why minho broke up with him, he understands why changbin doesn’t like him back, he understands why bambam wanted to “just be friends” with chris, he understands why he and woojin were never going to last.

 

and, most of all, he understands why felix didn’t want to even be in the same room as him anymore. and that’s the one that makes chris need to leave, at least for a bit.

 

seungmin’s parents have a beach apartment in caloundra, and there was no way he was going to turn down seungmin’s offer to stay there for the day, especially when jeongin and jisung were staying too. 

 

chris feels better out here, the crashing waves, walking across the rocks with three of his best friends in the world, cracking jokes and letting himself forget about minho for a day. he’s finally happy, he and jisung may bicker about whether or not rent is a trash musical (it is), but it’s always in a playful way. seungmin doesn’t know how to shuffle cards but insists on shuffling them anyway, jisung refuses to lose uno, and jeongin complains about the poorly shuffled cards seungmin gives him, but they’re chris’s family, and they make him happy.

 

chris doesn’t want to go home, he wants to stay with seungmin forever, but he knows he can’t. his happiness always goes away, he should be used to that by now. 

 

as soon as he steps through his front door, he thinks about minho, and about changbin, and bambam, and woojin, and felix.

 

although, he never really stopped thinking about felix.

**Author's Note:**

> i made chris sad again, sorry. this series is mostly going to be fun fics, but not this one. sometimes ya boy has to be gay and sad on here. also uhh be my pal on twt if u want @softiechannie


End file.
